Moving is exciting but it’s no secret that it’s a lot of hard work too – and not just for adults. Here’s some helpful advice on how to make moving to a new home easier on your kids and helping to make this transition less stressful for your whole family.
How to Prepare Your Kids for Moving Day
A good routine is essential for keeping kids happy and well-adjusted – but moving to a new house can throw this routine into total disarray. Here are some tips for helping kids understand what’s happening and to cope with this big, new change in their lives.
Before Moving Day: A month or so before moving day, start talking to your kids about moving to a new home – this will give them time to process this information. Keep it light and positive, and focus on the important things that will stay the same rather than what will change. For example, that all their favorite toys and games will come with.
If you can manage it, try and plan a fun family trip up to explore your new city or neighborhood, and spend time focusing on fun things your kids will love around their new home – parks, libraries, ice-cream shops, playgrounds and that kind of thing. It will help take away some of the mystery and unfamiliarity of moving to a new neighborhood as well as give your kids something to look forward to. If possible, visit what will be your new home and let them explore it a little, especially their new bedrooms. Remember to take lots of photographs so that they can look back on the trip any time they want.
Another good thing to try is to give them a sense of responsibility about the move to help them feel more in control of the situation. Depending on their age, they can help pack up items (even if you have to re-pack them a bit later), choose new things for the new house (especially for their new bedroom) or help you measure up your furniture. If you are getting rid of stuff you won’t need in your new home or things your children have outgrown, try and plan this for while your kids are out of the home or at school. This will help avoid any issues where they develop a strong attachment to items simply out of anxiety and prevent them from worrying that you’ll throw out their favorite stuff too.
Books are also a wonderful resource for helping kids understand what moving to a new house is all about and to help them process their emotions. We recommend Big Ernie’s New Home by Theresa and Whitney Martin and Moving House by Anne Civardi and Michelle Bates, and Maybe Yes, Maybe No, Maybe Maybe by Susan Patron. Reading these together and letting your kids ask lots of questions about moving will help calm their fears and keep things positive.
On Moving Day: Moving day itself is always very busy, so often it’s best to plan a separate day entirely for your kids at a friend or relative’s home nearby. This will let you focus on working with the moving company and sorting out any last-minute issues without having to worry about your kids as well. When you do see your kids and, in the time leading up to the delivery of your belongings, remember to keep things light, positive and excited. As stressful as moving is, it’s easy for kids to pick up on any negative emotions which can quickly lead to anxiety, stress and tantrums.
Settling In: It can take around 6 months to fully settle in to your new surroundings, so expect some ups and downs. You can make this process a bit easier by getting to know your neighbors, signing your kids up to their favorite activities or giving in to a special moving treat like finally getting a pet. The sooner they make new friends the better, and your support and encouragement as a parent will help boost their social skills and confidence in this area. It’s also important to try get your regular routine back in action as quickly as possible, as this type of structure goes a long way to reassuring your kids that the important things are still there.
Above all else, remember that moving to a new house is psychologically disorientating and emotionally exhausting for kids as well as parents, and that settling in is a process that takes time. Remember to give yourselves and your kids a break, focus on the positive and keep in mind all the good things that will come from this fresh start, and you’ll be a happy family in your new home in no time at all!